Carving a Niche in New York (Summer 1995)
By Elizabeth Kapstein
 
By the time some of you see me in San Diego (or read this in the newsletter), I will have passed my two-year anniversary in Manhattan. It's uncanny how much I enjoy living here, especially since I never wanted to move or live here.
 
New Yorkers are a surprising lot. Even through all the grumbling and loud voices there is a strong sense of love and joy of life. Folks don't hold back; if there is an emotion, they feel it, a celebration--they party, yet there can be solitude, even in a crowd. Though the vista is cement, the lighted towers and skyscrapers change colors with each holiday. Visit on Pride Day and the sky is a beautiful lavender glow.
 
On the hard side it is difficult to get a "inside small community feeling." It takes time, persistence and dedication. People don't easily break away from their set groups and it takes a little more effort to build community. Thus I was surprised last September when I put the call out that I was starting a NSP group. After eight phone calls, our first meeting drew five participants. Through word of mouth, we have grown to a list of 20 and are a group of 5 to 11 persons.
 
Recently, we just finished our search for a meeting place, with the desire to move from small New York living rooms to a public meeting place. Though most rooms (libraries, churches, hospitals and YWCAs) range from $40-80 for two hours, the one place costing less is The Lesbian and Gay Community Center ("The Center") at $20 per week with an informational blurb in their monthly newsletter. Our first meeting there is April 12. I can't tell you all what it's like. This is an experience unlike any other organizing experience I've ever had. It was the most unusual thing to tell our predominately "straight male" group that the best deal in town is at The Center.
 
On the stuttering side of things, a few months ago I was lunching with my sister and her two sons, ages 9 and 12. I ordered first, and as everyday life, I stuttered as I was ordering my meal. While my sister was ordering, my younger nephew unexpectedly laughed at my stuttering and repeated my speech. He then drew his older brother into the laughter. I was stunned. Never had this behavior occurred; I was completely unprepared. I didn't know if I should interrupt, bring my sister's attention to their behavior or pretend it did not happen. I chose to let it go till another time.
 
That afternoon, the boys and I went to the park to play basketball. On the way there I asked them if they knew what stuttering was. They answered no. As such, I explained what stuttering was, how it felt to stutter and be ridiculed, followed with verbal illustrations of how to listen with empathy to a stutterer. Then I gently reminded them that their Grandfather and Aunt Leslie stuttered, but that I had the most severe stutter. By that time we were at the park and set off to shoot hoops.
 
Anyway, I'm here in New York awaiting spring and gardening in the community gardens, watching the dogs play in the park dog-runs, strolling through street fairs, playing in Central Park ponds and of course, San Diego. Can't wait to hear and see many of you. Hope all is well and best wishes.
 

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