What Goes On At A Passing Twice Workshop? (Fall 1997)
By Larry Sailor
Because many of the people on our mailing list have never attended an NSP or a CAPS conference, I thought some of you might be curious about what happens in a Passing Twice Workshop. Here's a brief overview of the workshop Nora O'Connor and I co-facilitated in Buffalo June 27.
 
Nora and I were pleased to find that we had been assigned the conference hospitality suite for our workshop because it seemed more like we were meeting in a friend's living room than in an impersonal meeting room. Seventeen people attended the Buffalo workshop--although most were lesbians, gay men or bisexuals, a few participants identified themselves as our straight friends and supporters.
 
Nora and I began with a brief explanation of why we had come together. Elizabeth Kapstein, one of PT's founding members, briefly discussed how the group had started and charted the timeline of how the organization had developed and grown. The next phase of the meeting is really the heart of what the workshop, as well as the entire PT organization, is all about. Each participant has an opportunity to tell her or his story in as much or as little detail as they wish--to be as open or as cautious as they want or need to be.
 
One of the more common themes that always seems to emerge in these workshops is the relief that our members feel upon discovering that they are not alone and the joy they find of being among people who have felt/are feeling precisely the same pain, confusion and isolation that they have felt/are feeling. The workshop provides for all of us, regardless of whether it's the first or the fifth we've attended, an opportunity to experience the safety and supportiveness of having a peer group; a non-judgmental group of friends with whom we have common and shared experiences. It also provides an opportunity to hear from our members who have moved beyond vulnerability to self-acceptance and in some cases, even to activism.
 
This period of sharing always takes up the majority of the allotted time but it serves as the basis for the bond that develops between the members and the point from which new personal growth can begin.
 
At the Buffalo workshop, before adjournment, there was a necessarily quick discussion of the group's initiatives and plans for the coming year, information about related meetings and conferences that members would be attending, information about the Passing Twice newsletter and expressions of gratitude for Barry Yeoman's work in keeping it growing as our "voice." A one minute pass-the-hat fundraiser helped to get some money for postage and supplies for the newsletter. Our meeting closed with a period of quiet meditation and gratefulness that we had had this time together.
 
Although the meetings may sound rather simple and uneventful, I think most people who have attended them would agree that they are a rich and meaningful experience. I hope all of our members will someday get to attend a Passing Twice workshop.
 

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