Chattin' With Barbara (Spring 1997)

By Al Hoffman

 

Editor's note: We get so serious in this newsletter, and it's great to have a chance to lighten up. For me, that levity came when I received a Christmas letter from our own Al Hoffman and his partner David Shepherd. Here, in Al's words, are "excerpts from an interview that will definately not be broadcast on Academy Awards night."

 

We enter a large brightly colored yellow house, freshly painted (apparently in response to two years of subtle and not-so-subtle hints from neighbors and friends). Our subjects sit in a potentially charming living room, also newly painted but cluttered with travel information (past and future) and unread magazines. They offer warm and genuine smiles to our intrepid reporter as she begins her interview.

 

In the dining room I see cards and notes scattered about the table. Busy with Christmas preparations?

Al: Well, Barbara, for many of our friends the holidays just wouldn't be complete without a letter from David and Al. Immediately after this interview we have to get to work.

Well let's start with the most difficult subject. Boys, I know it must be a terrible disappointment not to have had your dream wedding at the Ritz Carlton in Maui this year.

Al (grabbing a Kleenex®): Now Barbara you're not going to make us cry this early in the interview.

David: Actually I don't think that I share Al's appreciation for Wagner played on a ukulele.

I understand that you are living as minorities here in your home.

Al: Yes. With the arrival of Daphne in September, it's now a feline-majority household. Smokie and Little Guy have adopted an attitude of benign benevolence—as long as we keep the supper dish filled.

But you did have some unusual accomplishments this year. For example, Al, you finally got a gold-plated symbol to wear in the lapel of your tux.

Al: It was quite a thrill to watch the Grammy Award telecast. My eyes had almost glazed over when suddenly word flashed across the bottom of the screen that the San Francisco Symphony Chorus had won best choral recording of the year for our Brahms Requiem. I have to be honest in that I did vote for myself—and also for Alanis Morissette and Coolio. (It's not for nothing that I have my subscription to Entertainment Weekly.) The chorus had a big party where I had my picture taken with the Grammy, and I am quite happy to have the pin in my lapel.

Unfortunately you weren't able to wear your pin last week.

Al: Boy, your research is good. Well, yes, we missed the Mozart Requiem. We were well prepared and even had our final rehearsal with the orchestra, after which Michael Tilson Thomas gave a brief speech, saying he thought we were making beautiful music and hoped that people would be able to hear it. The next day, however, the Symphony musicians went on strike and the concerts were canceled. It looks doubtful for the Messiah this week, too. (He reaches for the Kleenex® again.)

Al, your mother came all the way from Lynden, Washington to hear your performance, but it was not to be.

David: Yes, but the good news is that Al's mother is healthy, looks great and really enjoyed the trip.

Al: Also, my mother got to meet David's mother who, at 80 years, is still working most days as a substitute teacher. Since I didn't have to run off to perform every night we got to enjoy our dinners at a leisurely pace, even having time for dessert.

It looks like you've had plenty of time for desserts lately.

David: Actually, Al's lost a little weight this year.

Al: Yeah, it's amazing what a week on intravenous can do for you. But I have managed to avoid regaining the weight that I lost.

The two of you had a great trip to Alaska in July, but that return visit over Labor Day must have been frightening.

Al: In a weird sort of way it was a good trip. The scenery and weather were magnificent.Some of the foliage and ground cover already had their fall colors. We stayed at a great resort hotel, the Alyeska Prince, which we hope to enjoy again under more favorable circumstances. The abdominal pain and early morning trip to the emergency room are almost forgotten now. My hospital room in Anchorage had a stunning view of Denali (Mt. McKinley). Luckily I recovered enough to come home to have my gall bladder (and gallstone) removed at Alta Bates in Berkeley.

David: And a week later he was back at the gym with a fresh excuse why he wasn't working at 100-percent effort.

Al: And when's the last time you walked through the doors of the Berkeley Y?

Now boys... remember Santa may be listening. I understand David recently received a special certificate in the mail.

Al: Right. This year, really without too much effort, he logged 100,000 actual flight miles on United. When we returned from our trip to Eastern Europe, David's certificate of recognition was waiting for him.

David: We're anxious to see how being 100K will affect our travels next year.

Al: It may seem strange to plan your vacations around where United and Lufthansa offer low, upgradable fares, but it hasn't limited us too much so far. For instance, we had a wonderful jaunt to Paris and Provence in April. The flamingos at sunset were an experience to die for, the food was great, and the desserts...

Getting back to Eastern Europe, I remember my interview with the remarkable Vaclav Havel. What a...

Al: Barbara, I thought this interview was about us.

Actually I thought it better not to get you started talking about your November trip while the memories are still so fresh. It was Budapest, Vienna, Prague and Dresden, right?

David: Yes. In Budapest and Vienna we had warm sunny weather and thoroughly enjoyed walking through city streets and parks. Though the weather was cool and overcast, Prague was even more exciting than our last visit there. Prices are still quite cheap and the city has so many architectural gems, including the Estates Theater.

Al: We heard a wonderful performance of The Marriage of Figaro in the Estates Theater, where Mozart himself conducted Don Giovanni. But the musical highlight of the trip was at the Semper Oper in Dresden where we attended the premiere of a new production of Strauss' Die Frau Ohne Schatten—a gorgeous opera house and a fantastic presentation.

(The scene shifts outdoors, where Al and Barbara are returning from a spin around the neighborhood. A bright green car silently arrives at the curb.)

It's great that you're involved in cutting edge technology, but I might have enjoyed the ride in your electric car more if my feet hadn't been resting in a puddle of water.

Al: Well, the cars are made of molded plastic and hand-assembled by a company in Norway that normally makes park benches. (Norwegians, who first saw the cars in Lillehammer, say they are perfect: just enough room for two adults and two cases of beer.) Some of the pieces don't quite fit together, but the leaks are scheduled to be fixed next week. Bank of America is sponsoring some of its employees to take part in the experiment, which should last about a year. Driving the car has been a lot of fun.

Any last words?

David: Wishing all a happy holiday season and New Year. Let us know if United is having a sale out your way.

Al: Kiss, kiss.

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